Whale Watching. When you're vacationing in one of the most gay-friendly towns in America, you would think it would be easy to find a place where you could watch Bill Laimbeer, Rick Mahorn, Patty Coyle and their players face off in the decisive game of their WNBA playoff first round series. You would think. Haven't we all heard the great myth that only lesbians are interested in watching women's sports? So, if that's true, we should've been able to walk down Commerical Street here in Provincetown on Cape Cod and ask any pair of women-wearing-sensible-shoes where the game was being shown. You would think. Puzzled expressions don't qualify as an answer; neither do contemptuous looks that suggest that though they heard us, they took us for just another couple of bluetooth-enabled-borg-people who like to stroll in public while carrying on conversations with other bluetooth-enabled-borg-people, perhaps on the other side of the galaxy. For all they know, we could've been chatting away with Lt. Ripley. So they ignored us. Now, if you don't think that is strange, keep in mind that this is a town where if you ask anyone (yes, even the decidedly straight 3-generational family visiting from Cedar Falls, Iowa, or especially maybe a Senator from Idaho) where that guy with the foot-long dong wienie mary cheney's dad's first name physical attribute is performing his (definitely not PG!) nightclub act (yuck!), they will have no trouble pointing you in the right (or wrong, depending on your point of view) direction. But the WNBA playoffs? Blank stares.

But, like the Postal Service, the BasketCases are not easily deterred and kept from our appointed rounds, so we decided to take a different tack. We visited a couple of the meccas of women's culture here in P-town and asked about ESPN2. The first place we visited is an old Provincetown institution, Womencrafts. This is an establishment the BasketCases have dubbed The Store That Time Forgot. It's been 11 years since we've been to the Cape, and we swear not one book, one CD, one candle or one bumper sticker for sale has changed! It's kind of like stepping through a wormhole in the time-space continuum. Anyway, if anybody knew where WNBA-aficionados would be gathering this evening to watch the Libs face the Shock, we figured Womencrafts would know! We were wrong. Apparently, the WNBA hadn't yet made it through the wormhole. So, next on our list, a more happening women's place, the Vixen bar and cabaret. As we entered the darkened room, we were immediately encouraged as we spied not only a bar and a pool table, but a large flat-screen tv mounted on one wall! Well, we finally came to the right place! We were wrong. When we asked the bartender if he (yes, a women's bar with a male bartender) knew whether they got ESPN2, he apparently mistook us for visiting French-Canadians (E'esspeeyen-tu?) and answered "Je ne comprends pas." He never heard of ESPN2. He had no idea the WNBA playoffs were going on. He had no idea why we would even care about watching television, when we were vacationing in a town filled with live entertainment choices, everything from jazz singers to drag queen magicians. He's got a point.

So, Donna O, we tried. We really truly wanted to watch. Thank goodness we got to see some amazing mammals on this morning's whale watch. Even if we miss tonight's game, that alone made today a fun day on Cape Cod. Whales are magnificent animals (but size-wise, they got nothing on Bill and Rick!). Go Libs! Shay! Shay! Shay!

Photo Credit: DC BasketCases Aug. 28, 2007