Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Liar Liar Pants on Fire. The BasketCases awoke this morning to a story in the Washington Post announcing that the Verizon Center -- home of the Mystics, Wizards and Caps -- will no longer allow fans to bring in food or beverages. The Verizon Center is owned by Abe Pollin's Washington Sports & Entertainment, the former owner of the Mystics and Caps and current majority owner of the Wizards. As the owner of the Phone Booth, Washington Sports gets a chunk of all food and beverage sales made in the arena. However, Pinocchio Matt Williams, a spokesperson for Washington Sports, claims that the new prohibition on outside food and drink was adopted to "add to the safety of our patrons" and that "concession sales did not figure into our decision." So let's see now. That overpriced, deep fried, high cholesterol basket of chicken tenders and fries that you can buy inside the arena is totally safe, but the healthy bean bowl that you can get next door from Chipotle is now a terrorist threat? Matt, the BasketCases were born at night, but not last night.

Update! After we posted earlier this morning, a BasketCases confidential informant leaked us a copy of a highly classified report from the Department of Homeland Security which concludes that if every fan attending a Mystics game brought in (and consumed!) a Chipotle Bean Burrito, the excess gas generated --- if ignited by a spark from pregame pyrotechnics --- could indeed result in a major safety threat to the patrons of the Verizon Center. So obviously, Matt was right . . . it's not about increasing concession revenue, it's all about safety!


At 3:05 PM, Blogger Posting-Up said...

What a load of hooey!

All this will result in is Mystic fans becoming very, very sneaky about smuggling dinner -- that costs less than $40 -- into the Arena. (Is that a burrito in your pocket, or...?)

We have found -- as a tip --- that offering a burrito to the guard at the "security desk" in the parking garage is a great way to smuggle your own dinner in!


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